I received notes from two colleagues that read my paper, plus this nice note from my professor:
Erin - Compelling, well written, and well argued, and I love how you offer a line from the Bard to inform each section. Admittedly I'm partial to your claims regarding the power studying Shakespeare can have on young minds because I was raised reading his works and having my mother read them to me. Your examples of drama play and storytelling as ways to build character, develop confidence, sharpen language skills and literacy, and teach children to exercise their imaginations are detailed and convincing, and you offer a strong argument that "by using Shakespeare curriculum and drama play as learning tools for young children, more time can be freed up in the upper grade levels for meeting the CCSS standards." In short this is a model thesis packed with insight and useful proposals. Give this draft one more proofreading and it should be good to go.
Right now, I'm working on cleaning up typos. Every time I glance at my paper, I see another typo! I am also trying to squeeze some wordiness out of it - a note our professor gave every writer in the class. Just a couple more weeks to go!